hey guys.. ravi is
obvsly not my real name i dont want to disclose it for privacy reasons.. except
for names everything is true.. i am writing this story now because i feel i
should blurt it out by any means.. my relationship is currently suffering badly..
because of jealousy, competition, social evils and ofcourse castism.. its a
pretty long story i hpe dat after reading dis lil article of my life u have a
better idea of the limits of love and feelings.. my love life or actually my
life took a huge turn in 2010 august.. i had nvr evr foreseen this.. i was in
class 11th in a good school from lucknow
one evening i was going through some facebook profiles when i came across one
Aditi singh.. she used to study in my coaching a few mnths bck and was in her first
and very short relationship with a friend of mine.. i did have a crush on her
to be honest so i sent her a frnd rqst immediately.. well.. me.. ? i had just
just transformed from a thin stupidly walking battry powered (specs i mean)
creature to an athletic body type handsome dude.. i had a good score in high
school.. never interested in science
but still had to go for
pcm due to home issues..aditi accepted my rqst in a few days and rarely came
online.. she had her profile pic.. which i found verry cute.. she was wearing a
yellow tee with hannah montana printed on it he long silky hair fell half on
her face..mm maybe a lil less than half.. she had an oval face.. verry cheeky
double chinned not very fair complexioned but stil really cute.. we spoke a few
times..she was in another school… somehow i got her number but we talked only
when she texted me.. so twas fine.. on 10th sep we talked.. TALKED means for 8 9 hours via sms( 500 was d limit
those days.. golden days) we talked about ourselves she was really upset about
her breakup i tried really hard to comfort her.. when her mood lifted up we
spoke about the days in d coaching hw i usd to sit nxt to hr and shying nd
everything.. she laughed and smiled then i told her hw i had fallen fr her and
surprisingly even she liked me but my frnd had made d move wth sm hlp he
sceeded.. that nyt i proposed to her she said she was waiting fr it.. twas all
so prfect.. dat nyt was d best nyt of my lyf.. i laid in bed and twas lyk she
was nxt to me.. i hugged her kissd her and told her d same we shared passnte
moments.. dose dati cherish wen.. wen i feel i am losing her.. lyk nw.. d nxt
few days wr great.. we met in her coaching.. i ws scared to evn tch hr bt v
did.. nd den v kssd.. i was falling fr her.. itwas lyk insanity.. my love kept
growing and growing and along with it grew possesiveness
i bcame posessive.. vry
posesive.. d love in me whch she had seeded.. gew blackness in its shadows.. i
made her chnge hr number.. a new fb id.. less frnds and wat not.. i made her
like me.. alone.. no friends no recognition just a loner and a looser.. but
then once u r in love u dnt see d thngs u loose.. true love is like a trance..
which makes you to say yes to everything.. and this trance degrades.. only with
time and it doesnt end.. it transforms to fear.. d fear of loosing, d fear dat
she might change.. d fear dat u myt hav to kill her.. for she will bcme sm1
elses.. nd dat she would do those thngs that you had dreamed about together
with someone else.. and dat smeone else bcmes ur biggest enemy.. an unknown enemy.. a
threat..things went well.. we never fought.. we didnt do sex but yes kissing,
hugging was our mtual favourite.. she had mood swings and we wouldnt kiss for
months.. i had a poor twelth result.. although her was bttr.. i was cnfused abt
my future i wantd her.. she was d only reason to b alive fr me i loved her so
so so bad that i would kill d world for her smile.. she meant everything to
me.. d life before i met hr seemed to me like a dead corpses.. she was my world
and i wanted her at any cost… my parents had nvr xpectd good frm me in
academics and wantd me to take admsn in an engineering course in sme private
clg.. but i knew dat it wouldnt b enuf to make aditi my wife.. if i wantd her
frever i had to become strong wth degrees..
i chose to drop.. my
parents cnfrmd dis 100 or so tyms bt i was frm in my dcsn.. evn aditi wantd me
to achv smthn.. she loved me equally.. she was in a good college in lko fr
b.com… i studied throughout d yr in a village in bihar.. wrked my ass off 18 19
hours to get those cncepts in my head.. her love and more of d desire to make
her mine motivated me.. i appwared fr jee2013 and achvd a good rank in both
mains and advanced.. got an iit in up itself.. i was happy as hell bcause i was
near to her and more because i had a chance fr her parents agreeing of our
relatnshp.. bt in these merry times i did not see what she felt.. d feeling wen
ur best frnd
who played and slept wth u goes ahead in lyf while u r left behind.. dat
jealousy had got into her.. into my sweethearts heart.. her purity had now
turned into something that cracked our world.. d world we had together
created.. it took off the smiles of our three chldrn we wished to have.. it
haunted the two story house we wanted.. it crushed d luxury car we desired.. we
starting quarelling.. arguing.. nd d distance btwn us evr increased.. its been
3 1/2 yrs to our relatnshp.. i love her too much.. itna ki me use apne dil me
apne mun me sama nh skta.. vo mujse dur hrai h.. lgta h jse me use ab jaanta hi
nhi.. we are a different caste.. vo ek high society se h.. me use kabhi kisi or
ke sath imagn nh krskta.. uske na hne se mere kch b hne se farak nh padta..
mera iit me slctn ya jo kch b mre
pas h.. i am still tryng to sort it out and make it work.. but i dont know
whats got into her.. vo mjse agey niklne ki koshish me mje hi bhul gai shayad..
i cn kill fr her.. agr wo mri nh hui to ksi ki nh hskti.. its a selfish thought
but it is dat way.. ”love is pain when we are apart, i
will always keep yo in my black heart” you cant cntact me at my id jvs1993@live.com
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